My Karung Besar

Her name is Kandita. Kandita Arjani. When I ask her what does her name mean, she told me that it means Karung Besar. I laughed. Without knowing that she is, my karung besar. A place where I could hide when the universe hates me, when people telling me bad things, when my days are going rough. She's always there.

Our friendship started out at our first semester in medschool. Hard times. I never was a sociable person. I tend to feel uncomfortable surrounded by people I barely know. It was our first day, starting medschool. I was late, so I gotta sit at the back rows of the class. Which is good, for me. Cause i could do this thing I like the most. Observe people. I see a lot of my new friends started to make friends, becoming groups, same high school, same hometown, and I... feel left out. I saw them talking to each other, tag the seats to make sure they’ll sit next to people they knew already. While me? Reading Raditya Dika's book and talking to no one. And there she goes, standing beside me, in an annoying gesture. "Agit ya? Sebelah kamu kosong ngga? Bisa duduk disitu?" And that time, i nodded, without knowing, that big, fat, clumsy girl who's sitting next to me will become my best friend. My half. My everything.

So then we're becoming best friend. Unseparated. I can't even think of any special moments which she wasn't attending. None. She's always there. We were two very different people. Like, totally. She's more like so talkative, clumsy and fun kinda girl. While me.. not so much. I can't do chit chat, I hate being in crowded places. Being with her means.. everything. We could just stare at each other and laugh, without knowing what we're laughing about.

She teaches me a lot. She never slap me on my face if I do or even DID something wrong. She knows, I'm stubborn enough not to listen, and I'll have every answer not to listen to her advice. She knows. So when I've messed things up, she'll talk. With her own way, telling me that it's a wrong thing to do, but her advice will ended up with "This is your life anyway, do whatever you want, take every risks along. Good decisions will bring you happiness, bad decisions will teach you a lesson. I'll be here, I'll back you up, whatever your decision is." She is strong enough, to stay by my side, even when I don't want her to.

We didn't text each other everyday, nope, not that often. But she's always there. Once she went to my house after I called and told her I had a bad day, she came, gave me one cute little Piglet, my favorite. I was speechless. It was never about the gift. It's the thought. She always has this thing, that thing which I couldn't help but feel blessed, that she is around.

If you are reading this Dit, i just want you to know, that I do am. Feel blessed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, for being you.

"Family isn't always about blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs, the one who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what."